Last year for the first time, I tried Ayahuasca. It was the worst night of my life! A deep contrast to many readers who commented that Aya was a godsend for them, offering insights and healing. So why was my experience so different? There were varying opinions. The most predominant comments were I should have had another shaman with me or that I should have surrendered my ego. Some felt that the dark entities attacked me as a lightworker, and a few had a similar experience to mine. (For details on my experience with Aya, read The Dark Side of Ayahuasca.)
I was caught off guard by the energetic attack during my Aya trip, even though I had extensive experience “traveling” in the spirit realm dealing with negative entities and performing spirit depossession, yet the archetype power of Aya had held me in her unrelenting grip until I literally thought I was going to die, but even worse than this, I had felt that I was losing my soul to a realm where I didn’t belong.
An insight came while reading the book True World History: Humanity’s Saga by Stewart Swerdlow, who in the 1970-80s was part of specific government mind-control experiments, including 13 years at the Montauk Project. During this time, he also had contact with participating aliens. In the book was a chart that showed how the current races of mankind descended from alien races. My heritage is a mixture of Spanish, Apache and Celt — all of these descended from the Atlantis race, a combination of Sirius A, Kilroti/Lion and Pleiades. On the other side of the chart was the Draco (Reptilian) lineage, whose hybrid offspring include Asia, Australia, South and Central American (Mayan, Aztec, Inca), and the Middle East (see chart below).
I thought back to how my Aya vision included Asian DJs orchestrating the world’s holographic matrix and a Geisha girl who appeared in an abstract painting, soon followed by a devil (Reptilian). Of course, native South American people were in the vision, along with jungle sights and sounds, but I couldn’t figure out the Asian influence… until now. Both the Asian and South American people are part of the Draco lineage. Aya has been used in South American for thousands of years, creating an archetype power, but I am not part of the Draco lineage. I had entered a ceremony that I had no right to partake of. I was a party crasher. A foreigner in a strange realm. At first, the archetype energy welcomed me, trying to recruit me, but when I resisted, I was attacked. Perhaps the same thing would have happened if someone from the Draco lineage had tried a Native American plant medicine, such as Peyote. I don’t know. I just know I wasn’t where I belonged.
I asked Stewart Swerdlow for his opinion and he said, “Aya seeks to open you up to the lower astral entities who can then possess and deceive you. It is very dangerous drug. The indigenous people only used it after many years of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and psychic discipline. People who use this today don’t have a clue what they are doing. They are playing with fire. You don’t need drugs when you do Hyperspace/Oversoul techniques.”
7 thoughts on “The Ayahuasca Party Crasher”
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Though I DO agree that misuse and abuse of any substance is very dangerous, that does not mean that those substances are “bad”. Even now, I have been doing so research into some of the practices and methods used by the Conibo Peoples, as documented from several video-documentaries I have. Ayahuasca, when used properly and actually prepared for, beforehand, has served very effectively as an aid to shamanic healing. The main effect of many of these entheogenic substance, is to forcibly break down barriers that we may be resistant to lowering. Some folks may do very well with purely meditation. Others may need additional help to achieve that mind-state. This is why preparing oneself, mentally and emotionally, should be a required part of the process BEFORE chemically-inducing that mind-state.
As with any tool (in which these “special plants” are among the many),
They must be respected for what they are, and how they should be used. They, in and of themselves, are not “bad” nor “evil”. They are tools that are a part of some of the practices.
I sincerely hope that your experience with Ayahuasca did not color your perception against its use in any practice! There are benefits for those who are truly ready to use them. And, yes – there may be times when one feels he/she is not “in the right place”. This may have been your case, or it may have been that you were not expecting what was to come about – but expecting something different. That simply demonstrates the vastness of these realms, and our tiny spec of an existence within them.
– Rev. Dragon’s Eye
I would have to say that my experience with Aya has created the feeling that it opens up one to a dark side. I do not recommend it to any one. This same healing could have easily been accomplished through a simple shamanic journey without all the risks.
We disagree then.
I feel that Aya shows us ourselves. I feel that the dark side presented with her is more like soul composting. I think that it is critical to face our shadows and find the way to integrate the lessons from them into our wholeness. Sometimes we may experience uncomfortable content that is instigating us to grow stronger, to clear for the collective, or learn how better to heal something in the darkness. We can not pretend that darkness is not part of life, nor the will to keep evolving.
I had a very similar experience about a month and a half ago.
I took the capsulated version of ayahuasca using Syrian Rue and Acacia Confusa and waited for the effects, meditating with my relaxing Jazz music. After a couple of hours, I started feeling inebriated and started seeing visions of Egyptian letters flashing before my eyes. Then, I felt something horribly wrong was happening when I felt as if I was caught in “something’s” web. I was then instantly thrown into a dark realm with this black/white checkered geometric serpent/scorpion thing repeatedly stabbing me with its barbed tail, mocking me, toying with me. Needless to say, I wanted out, any way I could, even death sounded like a great idea. Unfortunately, I had no help, and had to just stick it out for 4 more hours. I was able to open my eyes and move around briefly, but I was in my bed and rotating my body drunkenly from left to right, saying “you got me, you got me, you’re pretty damn good”. I noticed that everything seemed evil in my candle lit room, especially the music somehow, with lyrics also mocking me. But in return for it eating a part of my soul, it showed me how it was using anything it could to keep us humans weak so it could feed off of us, like drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, candy, jewelry, TV, anything that keeps us from getting stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually. It showed me how it has been doing this since the beginning time. I also saw how crappy of a person I was, like I judged myself for how I treated others. I finally “purged” after a couple of hours, but as I did, the evil entity mocked me for being foolish to eat its dirt (since it was crushed up for pills, it looked exactly so).
After I felt I was able to move safely on my own account, I went to my father in the other room and told him what had happened. For some reason, as I spoke, it was as if I wasn’t speaking for myself; I was asking questions in a way that seems to toy with his logic. Maybe I was possessed? I still felt weak-hearted as if the evil had sucked out a huge part of my soul. This all happened between 11pm-4am. I also spoke with my mom afterwards and asked if I could sleep on the floor next to her. As I tried my best to sleep, I felt a part of my soul just eating everything around me little by little. I woke right up everytime I see this happening, about 5 times total, and so I just gave up on sleeping that day and the next.
It’s been over a month now and I’m trying my best to get healthy again: meditating, spending time with the sun, eating well. But I keep thinking about the experience and I can remember it like it was yesterday.
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience with us, and I wish I can send love, but I have a feeling my love has been corrupted/poisoned, so I am cautious in doing anything at this point.
That’s how the negative forces “win”. It makes you afraid to open up to the Divine because you’re afraid the “serpent” will use the opening to return to you. It took nearly five weeks for me to be able to work past the fear and be able to meditate. But the ability to feel love, and move past fears, is part of our journey here. It was fear that brought us here. Creation on Earth (the fall of man) was based on fear. So appreciate seeing your fears. It is an opportunity to release them for healing.
I have three meditations that will help you. Here’s the link: https://blog.shamanelizabeth.com/2010/06/03/meditation-techniques.
And when you are afraid, anxious, etc., give your unwanted emotion, such as fear, anxiety, depression, anger, etc. to the Spirit by saying, “I give this to you,” either silently or out loud. The unwanted emotion is soon replaced by a sense of love and peace. — This works really well. It seems too simple to work, but when you are calling on the most powerful thing in the world, love, to help you, it will do the work for you. You only have to be willing.
Best to you.